‘Till the end of my time’: S’porean husband & wife both diagnosed with kidney failure, lean on each other for support – Mothership.SG

They first met through social media in March 2013.

12 years later, 35-year-old Elmi Nurfianty Ramlan, better known as Abby, and Mohammad Hafiz, 43, are blissfully married.

But their marriage has been a journey filled with trials and resilience.

Wife diagnosed with kidney disease and heart failure

It all started when Abby was first diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic kidney disease (CKD) in 2014, right after she got engaged to Hafiz.

She was only 24.

A few years later, her CKD advanced to kidney failure, which meant that she had to go for dialysis sessions about three times a week.

The diagnosis turned her world upside down, and soon, she began questioning her circumstances:

“After that, I realised that I can only dwell on this but it will not bring me anywhere. So what I can do is [to] make the best out of it. So that’s why I try to be positive; I try to be happy and cheerful.”

With frequent trips to the dialysis centre, it was hard for Abby to hold a full-time job, so she turned her passion for baking into a career.

In 2020, she started her own home-based business selling tarts.

Her home-based business received a lot of support and love. There were months when she couldn’t take on any more orders because she was fully booked.

In a previous interview with Mothership, she shared her dreams of opening her own shop one day, where she could serve freshly baked desserts to walk-in customers.

Unfortunately, that’s yet another dream she had to give up on.

In 2024, her health took a toll, forcing her to stop operating AbbyBakes.

Abby developed heart failure, a result of frequent dialysis sessions, she shared.

Being diagnosed with heart failure means that the heart cannot pump enough blood to meet the body’s needs. To compensate for that, the body makes the heart beat faster than normal.

“I also regularly get anxiety, panic attacks because my heart rate could be very fast all of a sudden. Then I will be drenched in cold sweat,” Abby lamented.

Abby, who used to be able to go for her tri-weekly dialysis sessions without much supervision, now requires her husband to accompany her at all times in case anything goes wrong.

Husband’s support and sacrifices

To provide care and comfort for his wife, Hafiz had to make several life changes.

Hafiz had to find a more flexible job to make time for her dialysis sessions.

He also had to give up the opportunity of performing his umrah (minor pilgrimage) to look after Abby.

Abby teares up as she lists out these sacrifices, saying, “I always feel that I’m holding him back from a lot of opportunities, which is heartbreaking to me.”

While some may see these as huge sacrifices, Hafiz simply thinks of it as his duty as Abby’s husband and provider.

“My obligation as a husband is to make sure that I’m always there for my wife,” he said matter-of-factly.

“For me, it’s just like another obstacle to cross over, but that doesn’t give me any regrets in my life.”

Husband also diagnosed with kidney failure

Abby has always seen Hafiz as her rock in life.

But recent events reminded her that she was his pillar of strength, too.

Some time later in 2024, Hafiz was at a shopping mall in Serangoon when he was found unconscious.

He received a blood transfusion for low haemoglobin levels, which his doctors suspected was a sign of kidney failure.

Upon further tests, he was diagnosed with end-stage kidney disease.

Doctors suspected that it was a hereditary condition as Hafiz’s father passed away due to kidney failure.

“I never expected that my wife and I would have the same sickness,” he said.

The diagnosis came as a shock, as he was maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle, typically spending his free time fishing and playing sports such as football.

Now, he relies on a cocktail of about eight medications to manage his illness.

Not being able to accept his condition, Hafiz fell into a state of depression for a few months after his diagnosis.

Usually bubbly and positive, his wife noticed he became a shell of a man, drained by illness and exhaustion.

Refusing to leave her husband in that state, Abby knew it was her turn to be the steady hand that kept him going:

“I told him that whatever happens, this is what’s fated to us. You cannot avoid this. The more you become depressed over this, it won’t bring you anywhere. Just make the best out of it.”

He told Mothership that the diagnosis has made him understand better what his wife had to go through all these years.

“I feel the fatigue that Abby used to have last time. Then now I know how it feels to be in her position,” he said.

They also have frequent hospital visits, including one in April 2025 that was especially bittersweet.

Instead of spending Hari Raya Aidilfitri with their family, Abby and Hafiz found themselves celebrating the joyous occasion together, both admitted to the same hospital.

The couple told Mothership that Hafiz has gone through necessary medical checks and been advised to go for kidney dialysis sessions.

They are currently waiting for the next steps.

However, Hafiz has voiced concerns about the need for frequent dialysis, noting the impact it could have on his work and his caregiving duties toward Abby.

Selling sandwiches together

Now operating from home under the brand Bwitched, the pair creates and sells Japanese-style Wanpaku sandwiches.

Wanpaku sandwiches are considered healthy, often layered with vegetables and filled with meats such as chicken.

The couple’s idea was sparked when the couple sat down to eat sandwiches, and Abby expressed how much she loved eating them, to which Hafiz encouraged her to make her own.

Soon, she began preparing the sandwiches for family events, which proved a hit with her relatives.

The pair later decided to set up Bwitched as another source of income, in case Hafiz’s illness affects his job and their livelihood.

They also said that their business makes them “forget” that they are sick.

“It’s actually a great motivation because it will destroy all the ‘myths’ saying that sick people can’t produce anything,” Hafiz said.

Bwitched offers five flavours of sandwiches, ranging from S$6 to S$8.50 per serving.

On a given week, the couple would receive orders of around two to three boxes of sandwiches.

They also offer larger portions for gatherings, including 12 mini Wanpaku sandwiches, priced from S$18 to S$25.50 per box.

Orders can be placed via Bwitched’s Instagram account.

Keeping each other going

Throughout their journey, Abby said that what keeps them going is being together.

“We never leave each other behind. And we always say positive things to each other,” she said.

Welling up, Abby shared her heartfelt appreciation to her husband: “Thank you for staying with me from day one. It’s not easy. I’ve seen your pain, I’ve seen your suffering. For sticking with me all this while, thank you for that.”

Hafiz, who’s generally a man of few words, reiterated the promise he made to her the day they got married:

“My wedding vow to you is that I will always love you, in sickness and in health. Till the end of my time.”

Top photos by Mothership